i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
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