ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Randomize
