Say something about gay babies.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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