While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize