we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
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Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
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Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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