he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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