Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Randomize
