P.S. I can't hear my feet
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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