Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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