why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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