sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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