Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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