She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize
