I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
The uberlube is also flammable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize