It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
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i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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