You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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