i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
