Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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