with your own penis?
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize