I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
