Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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