a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
