That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
