your thong is hanging out like whoa
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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