Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
