I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
