where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
