I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
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