Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize