make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize