Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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