i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Randomize