If that was your dad, he is hot
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
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