I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
A+ Viking dick
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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