I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize