On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
