Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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