You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
