Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
God, I missed his penis.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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