Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
