You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
