i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
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