I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
nutella sex= disaster
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
