Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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