But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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