Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
