Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
