Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
