Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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