she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
