My pussy is not your playground.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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