You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
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It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
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Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Pants are for mortals
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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