I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Randomize
