Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
