i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Randomize
