What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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