Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
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