love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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