Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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